anyone feel this weird frustration? : CafeDread | Torhoo darknet markets

You try and try again, spend thousands of your last dollars trying to get ahead, over and over again, people getting ahead of you putting less effort, try going on the dark web focusing, trying, failing, wasting cash, wasting cash, draining, and wasting cash over and over again, no friends, poor family in a third world country, cant sell drugs, cant do anything, simply stuck, dying, trying to fight bug getting smacked down over and over again, being fucked over at every time, paranoid, nobody you can trust, struggle to speak, but thoughts as clear as day, trying and trying seeing others dumber, worse than you getting what you always want, struggling over and over and over and over again, being told to do this nad that by others dont litsen because you understand all they want to do is fuck you over, lost, stagnant, not growing, being left behind by the herd to be killed by the lion chasing you, although they mention "dont kill yourself" you never thought about it, thought your too smart for it, everyone is with you but against you for their own gain, nothing to do no friends no family nobody to help you, trying over and over again, people telling you keep your head up and keep trying are those who have never tried ever in their life or have tried little and have recieved a small reward, trying for 3 years over and over again, wth should i do? is a question i would probably ask thinking im doing something wrong when im not, if you see this, im probably dead, writing this, venting to everyone angry at those with their wallets full with no effort and angry at those with wallets empty trying to give you advice FUCK THIS FUCK DREAD FUCK LIFE FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK YOU FUCK YOUR MOM FUCK EVERYTHING ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING I WAS NEVER GOOD AT ANYTHING NEVER GOOD AT LIFE TO FUCKING WEAK FOR THIS CRUEL WORD DONT FUCKING COMMENT I HATE WHEN YOU COMMENT I HATE WHEN YOU COME AND SAY "look at this moron" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE NO BETTER YOUR WALLET IS NOT FULL YOUR LIFE IS NOT COMPLETE NO GUIDES ARE REAL LIFE IS FUCKING FAKE, FUCK RICH PEOPLE FUCK HUGBUNTER FUCK HIS SUPPORTERS FUCK THE DARKNET I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE I FEEEL LIKE BREAKING EVERYTHING BUT CANT FUCKING HELLL I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIE FUCKKKK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU