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Fred's Last Bite - Writing Contest Submission : CafeDread | Torhoo darknet markets

Fred was a problem. Like a pitbull with a history of violence, Fred was a problem. One bite? Strange. Two bites? A pattern. Three bites? Fred. Fred was a problem.

But Fred was not a dog. Fred was a problem. It was an open secret around town that he bit. That he chewed. When in doubt? Bite the fucker. Take a piece out of him. Use your canines. Chew. Taste the blood. Eat the flesh. Savor the taste.

Fred had a dog that followed him around. He didn't feed it. He didn't need it. But it followed him around all the same. Latched onto him. Slept in Fred's bed. Ate Fred's food. Played Fred's poker. Drank Fred's liquor. Used Fred's mirrors. Shaved in Fred's bathroom. Wouldn't leave old Fred alone. Fred was annoyed. Poor Fred. Fred had a problem. Fred's dog was here to stay.

Night had fallen. This is when Fred would bite. Fred quickly chose his victim. A street vendor. Just asking for a bite. Fred broke in. Fred was biting hard this time. Biting and biting and biting. Fred did what Fred did. Fred bit. Teeth shining. Fred bit so hard his victim bled out. Fred was a problem. Fred's dog licked the blood and looked up for justice and approval. This time Fred kicked. His coiled hatred released in one unholy instant.

Fred got bit. Fred got chewed. Fred got torn. Fred got shredded. Fred couldn't bite. Fred was panicking. Fred had met his match. Fred got bit. Fred got ripped. No one helped. No one saw. No one around but dogs, birds and two pools of fresh blood. Fred bled out. Fred's kidneys gave out. Fred's heart stopped pumping. Fred's lungs stopped breathing. Fred's mind stopped thinking. Released. Retreated. Fred's dog. Vicious. Howled. Fred's dog marked. Fred's dog ran.

Fred's dog was free.

Fred's dog was a problem.

Fred's dog bit.
/u/letskeepthisusername 📢
1 points
4 years ago
/u/foshizzledizzle

Oh yeah, forgot to ping you.
/u/[deleted]
1 points
4 years ago
Right on thanks for the submission. I'm not gonna lie, this story annoyed me. You kept saying fred, like I know what you were going for cuz ive read prose that used this device, whatever its called, before. using the same word over and over again. But the way you used it wasn't prophetic or intriguing or anything. It was just annoying. Annoying to me, annoying to dread, You annoyed me. You Annoyed us. We have been annoynted in your annoyingness. And we are annoyed by it.
/u/letskeepthisusername 📢
2 points
4 years ago
Well, I thought it was decent. I get what you're going for there, trying to be decent and honest, but I thought it was decent. I liked it. Pretty decent.
/u/[deleted]
1 points
4 years ago
multiple submissions are allowed fyi.
/u/letskeepthisusername 📢
1 points
4 years ago
If I can come up with anything else in a week I'll submit it. Your criticism is fair enough but it would probably be some variation of this - there are some paragraphs I am proud of and it's a good length for a contest submission.

Might give it a shot. Thanks for the funny critique.
/u/[deleted]
1 points
4 years ago
This is some intellectual shit right here. Thank you for even existing. What an honor to read such an amazing post. So many parallels to be acerted. So many lessons to learn and so many people to meet.