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Just want to get this off my chest.
I worked for years, averaging 15 hours a day. From fraud to fraud to scaling to going bankrupt,...
Always had trouble sleeping. Always paranoid If I made some critical mistake that was gonna eventually get me in trouble. I still have that to some degree.

I reached my financial goal not a long time ago.
Moved to a different continent, got a visa, settled in, and life is good on paper.
Writing this on balcony of a beautiful apartment with a beach view. With a prostitute sleeping in my bed.

Sounds nice right?

All my relationships have been very superficial and still are for obvious reasons.
Life seems so empty. Like if you finished the game's main story line and are now just wandering around the world before you eventually quit the game.

I can't even put the feelings in words. I'm just numb.
I thought this is what I wanted, this is what I dreamed of. But after getting it, I now realize this isn't what I want at all.

I have no motivation, goals or ambitions. I wish I did because I wouldn't be writing this.
Suicide is becoming more appealing each day. Not because I'm in pain or anything.
But because I think I've reached the end. I experienced everything there is to experience here in some form or another.
And I'm just really curious if there is anything more to this life then this. Because this can't be it.

Natural selection. If I jump today, I'm sure someone will find the article and connect the dots.

Those who know, know. I'm not sorry.

/u/pingfo

3 points

2 years ago

"I experienced everything there is to experience"

This is exactly the type of thinking that limits US (not only you, all of us) into confining ourselves into this dense void of ego. There is a ton more you have yet to experience in life but nobody can tell you that you are stuck in your ways other than yourself.

Death is only the beginning. Make sure you understand that suffering is a choice. Do what you will with that.

/u/BarK1ng spazzk1ng

2 points

2 years ago

you made it

so nothing to apply yourself to now

explore new interests, apply yourself to them

you will find fulfillment and this feeling will slowly subside

/u/pestyswami

1 points

2 years ago

"Suicide is becoming more appealing each day. Not because I'm in pain or anything.
But because I think I've reached the end." I felt that

/u/HighFlyerUK

1 points

2 years ago

Happiness does not come from the material things we own, our success is not determined by a number in a bank, life is a thing to be lived not spent.

It sounds like you have hit a crossroads in your life, desiring something for so long and then realizing it isn't the thing that brings you joy can be a tough pill to swallow.

Suicide does not take the pain away, it just transfers the pain to the ones that care about you most. I know it can be tough but talk to someone that you trust, confide in them and let them know the how you are feeling. I know as men we are taught from a young age to ignore our feelings, that having certain feelings make us weak but it takes a big man to be open.

I hope you find your happiness and your purpose, be safe.

/u/P-LOU

1 points

2 years ago

Also, no you didn't finish the storyline because you could lose it at any point, you are not immortal, remember that.

/u/weirdaf1

1 points

2 years ago

My friend there is more to life than you think.

Help people out , maybe look for a soulmate who you can share thoughts with and be content.

There is alot more than you think. Trust me.

/u/pestilence

1 points

2 years ago

Find your purpose. Money is just a distraction.

/u/luckytigerfag

1 points

2 years ago

get a japanese or korean wife weston women are fat and bad manered
HAVE KIDS
that is your next adventure
life gratest atchavements are not "on balcony of a beautiful apartment with a beach view. With a prostitute sleeping in my bed." its having kids
your life will not seem/be so meaningless

i can not stress this enough HAVE KIDS

/u/KurableStim

1 points

2 years ago

mabe dev will come with extension packs?

/u/P-LOU

0 points

2 years ago

Problem was your engine and goal was all material things. Tying your purpose to tangible things is going to lead to that. Prostitutes, luxury, expense, your surrounded by things that are consumed in the same mindset. Silkboy Find Your Reason Your Why. Find A New One. You don't have a fitness goal? No business goal? No kids to raise? You'll get over this lil phase ur having bro but seriously start to think about your motor your drive. You got the money, but why? Expand upon that. There's more u can do u just refuse to think about it